If I Can't Be With You
by PrincessVenture
Summary: "That was the problem. There had been no celebration. Because, ironically, a step forward in Ally's music career once again meant a setback for their partnership." Fills in the gaps from the first two months of the tour.


**A/N:** Okay, so I originally wrote this after watching "Fresh Starts & Farewells" and then immediately listening to R5's "If I Can't Be With You" and then feeling like I was going to die if Season 3 didn't come out soon. I'd planned to have the whole thing done before "Road Trips and Reunions" came out…yeah, that totally happened. Pfft, NOT.

Evidently, it's a lot harder to juggle three fics while simultaneously trying to stay afloat in college. Anyway, winter break's coming up, so I edited this to be more canon-compatible, and I'm going to try to update more frequently. Not much in terms of plot, but since we didn't get to see two months of the Full Moon Tour, I'm going to fill in the blanks the way I see fit.

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**If I Can't Be With You**

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_The first day…_

It was supposed to be the happiest day of his life.

Well, second to the day he got signed to Jimmy Starr's record label. Or the day he booked his first interview with The Helen Show. Or…

Whatever. The point was, Austin was supposed to be having the time of his life. School was out for the summer, his career was soaring, he had his two best friends scarcely five feet away from him, and they were about to spend the next three months together touring the country and performing for millions of his adoring fans.

Well, _he_ would be performing. Trish would be the one dealing with Jimmy (who would be taking a flight back to Miami after Philadelphia) and stressing over their tour itinerary (which was ridiculously hectic, since they were planning on visiting at least one city in each of the fifty states, which left them with only a handful of places in which they could spend more than a day). Dez would be taping everything they did during the trip "for posterity" (so far, the only footage they'd gotten had been about the tour bus lavatory) and regularly updating the Team Austin Tweeter (for some reason unfathomable to Austin, the photo Dez had posted of the toilet last night had gotten five thousand re-twits in half an hour).

The bus was currently en route to Philadelphia for the first "real" concert of the tour (Miami had gone splendidly the previous night, but he'd never actually performed anywhere else yet, with the exception of Times Square). He was going to be playing in arenas, meeting fans, and eating pancakes in every state. Trish wouldn't be fired from any side jobs for the next three months. Dez would be using the bus lavatory every day…

Yet the mood was somber in the tiny "bedroom" on the bus. It was around seven in the morning. They weren't supposed to arrive in Philly for another ten hours, but he turned down the chance to grab some extra Z's in favor of…thinking. It was nearly impossible to sleep on a moving vehicle that lurched and swayed at every little bump on the highway anyway. He could only hope he could adjust to it in time because he was pretty sure the last thing he needed was to pass out from narcolepsy mid-concert.

He could see Trish curled up with a Yarn Barn blanket on the bottom bunk across the aisle. The Latina was lying on her side, facing the wall, away from Austin, but he was pretty sure she was awake, despite their previous misadventures with said blanket. Dez, too.

After they'd climbed onto the bus last night, Trish and Austin had found the redhead sprawled across the bottom bunk, sobbing into a pillow and babbling about how much he was going to miss their "little girl." That, of course, had been the last straw for Trish, whose fuse had been short enough already lately, what with all the stress of managing the tour (something about a mix-up with venue reservations meant they would be forced to drive all the way up to Philly for the first stop, instead of Atlanta, which would have been a lot more practical and preferable) and then having to say goodbye to her best friend in the world, and she'd laid claim to the bottom bunk, forcing Dez into the top bunk because, on an unspoken agreement, the three of them had left the other bottom bunk vacant.

That was when they'd found out Dez had a fear of top bunks. Not heights. Top bunks. Austin had been too tired (and disheartened) to pay attention to Dez's explanation for his particular phobia, but he was pretty sure his eccentric best friend hadn't slept much either, what with being trapped all night in his personal terror. And missing his "little girl," of course.

_Ally_.

Austin knew he was being ridiculous. This was a dream come true for both of them—his first nation-wide tour as a teen heartthrob, and her very first record deal with one of the best out there. They should be celebrating, relishing the feeling of finally achieving (or getting closer to) their dreams, of being among the one in a billion that made it in the music biz.

That was the problem. There had been no celebration.

Because they simply hadn't had the time for it.

Because of _Ronnie Ramone's_ impeccable timing and his penchant for getting "right to the point."

Because, ironically (or not), a step forward in Ally's music career once again meant a setback for the Austin & Ally partnership. Austin felt his heart wrench as he recalled the time not quite a year ago, when Ally had broken the news to Team Austin that she was leaving for MUNY, right around the release of his first album with Starr Records, when the four of them were all dreaming about going on their first tour together. Team Austin "together forever," they'd promised.

Ha.

And they'd only been _friends_ that time. Ally had given up MUNY to be there for him, but he had been _so hurt_ when he thought she was leaving Team Austin for good. And even though the separation wasn't going to be indefinite this time around, how was he going to cope without her for a full 94 days, especially now that they were trapped in some sort of nebulous more-than-friends limbo because he was too much of a coward to figure things out with her before he left?

And then it hit him—yet another thing to worry about: _What if Ally didn't return his feelings?_

He'd written the letter on a whim, after it had finally sunk in that the possibility of Ally not coming on tour with him was becoming very, very real. He hadn't considered the fact that the whole relationship thing had been months ago. Now that he thought of it, they'd had plenty of time to get over it, to get used to going back to "just friends." And while he distinctly remembered briefly feeling like he was on Cloud Nine during the kissing scene in the Austin & Ally rockumentary…wasn't Ally the one who told Trish and Dez that it was all "acting"? She'd professed to being glad that they were "just friends" after he'd admitted to writing "Steal Your Heart" about her. And she hadn't even batted an eyelid when he confessed to having written another love song—"Timeless"—during a blackout induced by the Tune-Pro.

They'd broken up months ago after a measly three days together. What if, while Austin was falling harder and harder for his ex, she had been doing the exact opposite? What if Ally had decided that their feelings were a non-starter and it was best to move on? Because, so long as they were both in the music biz, they would be working together. And working together meant they couldn't let any feelings get in the way.

Now Austin felt like an idiot for giving Ally the letter.

And signing it with a fucking _heart_ next to his name.

If she didn't feel the same way, then their whole partnership would be in jeopardy again. She'd feel guilty about having songwriting sessions with him because she wouldn't want to lead him on, and then their songwriting sessions would be full of awkward, and then she'd probably meet some other heartthrob singer who probably works for Ramone Studios, and then she'd start bailing out on Austin & Ally time be with the other guy, and then…

He was rambling. Rambling was Ally's thing, however much she tried to deny it, although her lengthy, tangential protestations themselves often indicated otherwise.

It always came back to Ally.

But maybe he was overthinking everything. Overthinking. That was what got him into the Ally-Kira mess in the first place, wasn't it? He wryly recalled his conversation with Dez in school that day, how he'd been worried that he was writing songs with an alien instead of the real Ally, which had _somehow_ led him to the conclusion that Kira was the right choice because he had to stop overthinking his decision. Yeah…overthinking never did him any favors.

Maybe Ally _did_ still have feelings for him. (Austin made a mental note to ask Trish if Ally had said anything recently.) Was it _really_ just wishful thinking when he thought he saw Ally looking at him when she was gushing about how "romantic" Chuck and Didi (blechhh) were together?

All he wanted was to know that Ally still felt _something_. What that too much to ask? At least he'd sleep more easily knowing that she was waiting for him back home.

…But then again, people change. They were definitely going to change, after a summer as momentous as this one.

For only the second time since he'd posted that viral "Double Take" video (the first being when Jimmy forbade him to play basketball), Austin found himself wishing he could be like all the other guys at Marino High. Now that school was out, _they_ could look forward to three blissful, carefree months of video games, Zalien movie marathons, and spending time with the people they loved. But _no_. He may be a popstar now, but his dreams of going on tour were never about the fame and fortune. It was about Team Austin: him, his two best friends Trish and Dez, and the one person he loved even more than his best friends (apart from family because you were kind of required to love them by default).

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**A/N:** Reviews are kinda-sorta cool.


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